Sunday, February 27, 2011

Creepiness in Asian Internet Cafes

Seeing how the hotels in SE Asia haven't provided us with the free Internet/wifi we became used to in Japan/Korea, we've been spending more time in Internet cafes. Mostly they're pretty boring with tourists typing Facebook updates and sending email to loved ones. But once 11pm hits, the tourists head home and the Asian females roll in. Mostly they Skype with old, bald white dudes.

The girl sitting next to me last night kept opening links sent to her by the grey long-haired white dude(who was also an excellent specimen of male pattern baldness). The clips she kept opening featured non-nude Asian chicks dancing in bikinis. Looking up and seeing everyone else in the cafe being young Asian females Skyping with dudes encouraged me to finish typing my emails faster.

Then in Cambodia, the cafe was set up differently than any other I've been to. It had all the chairs against the walls facing in so no one could look over your shoulder at your screen. And every screen had locally-produced wicker blinders on each side so you the person next to you couldn't see your screen. They also had 50-cent beer cans there, so that made it totally non-creepy and highly enjoyable.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Too Powerful for Asia

From Seoul, we travelled to Hong Kong (more details below) and Bangkok to do some propper shopping. We've experienced the same thing in pretty much every place - very little fits us. They don't make shoes in our sizes and we don't have the same body-types as most Asians. We've chosen not to refer to ourselves as fat either. Instead of specific reasons as to why each article or piece doesn't fit well, we've resigned ourselves to the fact that we're too powerful. We're too powerful for Asia.

Anyway, after our spectacular time in Korea, we got to Hong Kong and had a great time. We did most of the touristy things but one of the highlights was the Wednesday night horse races. Perin and I had big plans to win enough money to upgrade ourselves to business class for the rest of the trip, but it wasn't meant to be. The horse Amazing Fortune did not win us any money. Neither did any of the other horses we bet on, but Amazing Fortune really got my hopes up.

We knew that Chinese food in America is way different to Chinese food in China. That proved to be true. We also expected Japanese food to be way different in Japan. That was not the case; Japanese food is nearly identical in both places, which suprised us.

And speaking food, it's not Korean BBQ like we think of in the States, but one of my favorite meals so far was the place Teri and Saint took us to where we cooked our own food at our table. Every single meal we had was really good in Korea, but that's because we had local guides. We were rather hit and miss in Hong Kong on our Chinese food selections. However, Thailand has come through on pretty much every meal too, and it's all quite spicy.

Hong Kong was an amazing experience and a really cool city. It's an interesting mix of high-wealth status, luxury, and power brokers, super high skyscrapers built onto incrediably steep hillside, and every Chinatown I've ever been to. Millions of densely packed people, dirty buildings with laundry hanging out the windows and the smells of rotting vegatables and dead sea life wafting through the air at times, interspersed with insence and the smells of delicious noodles and grilled meats wafting through the air at other times.

Perin and I are getting better and better every day at negotiating so we're getting ripped off by fewer and fewer orders of magnitude every time. The people of Bangkok have been super friendly and that's helped us out quite a bit. The best was when we got the Emerald Buddha, we discovered that it had closed 10 minutes before we got there at 1:40pm due to it being an Imperial Buddha Day in Thailand. Some tuk tuk driver wanted to extort us, but we walked down the block, got our map out and decided what else we wanted to do.

Some stranger walked up to us, expained about the Buddha Day, then got his pen out, circled everything we should see that afternoon on our map, in what order, flagged down another tuk tuk, told him to wait for us while we saw each thing, negotiated a price for us and it was cheaper than everything we've done since. It ended up with us taking a water taxi through the canals of the city to skip having to wait in traffic. That guy was SO helpful and it was a great experience! We wish we could have tipped him.

It's pretty hot and sweaty here so it's hard to try on clothing, but we're getting winter coats made for Russia so it'll be worth it when we get there and it's zero degrees outside. I've promised to get Perin some winter boots in Russia too so she'll be stylish and warm at the same time!

We're off to see Siem Reap tomorrow and will be back in Bangkok on the first of March. Maybe you'll get some pictures then. Maybe you'll continue to wait.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Welcome to Seoul

We flew to Seoul and took the bus to see our friend Teri (aka the T-1000) and her boyfriend Saint. It was my first time meeting him, so I was very interested to meet the man courting my best lady friend from university. I suppose I always pictured dudes named Saint to be ruthless, badass assassins (not actual saints for some reason) but it tuns out that Saint is super nice and he and Teri are really great together. I'm super happy for them.

They were perhaps the most gracious hosts of all time. Due to fortuitous working circumstances, they both were able to spend most of the four-day weekend with us and took us on a whirlwind tour of fine exotic dining, power shopping, and sightseeing, all while handling all negotiations and treating us like royalty.

The shopping highlight was buying Perin several pairs of designer sunglasses frames for super cheap, then taking us to the eye doctor, getting us free eye exams and brand new lenses for the glasses for super cheap. We got free fruit juice boxes too. Actually, the very best part was when the eye doctor told me I had the best vision he had ever seen (English was his second language so that's how I'll interpret it) and I didn't need any glasses. He warned that I need to always need to wear sunglasses when outside though, because I have "light eyes."

Needless to say, I instigated numerous "can you read that from here?" contests and won them all, which helps to prove that I'm also super modest.

We had so many delicious meals and went to so many cool places, but I think my favorite place was the bowling lanes. We didn't even get to bowl! First, I was sent in solo to get our names on the bowling list and see if we could get a table. Mission accomplished. Management filled my name in for me: "foreigner." We ordered some drinks and drank in the atmosphere - semi-creepy clown photographs and clown art everywhere, with loud techno music playing and several big screens showing a Victoria's Secret modeling show.

The lanes closed at 3am, and we were informed that the wait list was so long we wouldn't get to roll. That's okay though because we played a couple games of super volatile air hockey that shot our puck into standers-by multiple times.

In this chronologically incorrect detailing of events, we then went to Taco Bell and ordered numerous hardshell tacos. The line of people waiting to order was pretty ad hoc, and as such, when new people showed up they tried to cut in line. A constant, unblinking, semi-concerned stare from me for a minute or two pretty much sorted that out every time. Taco Bell was so delicious! How can that place ever lose money? I'm buying stock as soon as I get back.

We returned to the T-1000's baller crib to play a few games of Rumikub and finally went to bed at 4am. We beat that the next night rolling out to Korean karaoke where Perin impressed everyone by not needing the microphone.

In addition to making runs to the border, the other food item I missed tremendously was spectacular proper sandwiches. Teri came through and got us some super tasty melty cheese sandwiches and satisfied all remaining food cravings.

Hanging out with Teri again was great and I hope to get to do it again soon. I also hope to get to do some more male bonding with Saint - he seems super cool.

Japan Finale

Just like everyone has an asshole, I have an excuse as to why there are no pictures yet. Our last hotel in Osaka had a free laptop rental so we installed Picasa, uploaded all of our pictures, sorted, edited, typed up our comments and then before we uploaded them, the computer froze and we had to reboot. Unfortunately, the computer erases everything on itself every time it reboots and we lost everything. We still have originals of everything on the cameras. So once again, by the time we upload some pictures, you - the dear reader - will be overwhelmed by all of the pictures.

Overall, our last days in Osaka Japan were nice and relaxing. We'd been going hard in Japan and had seen Hiroshima and Himeji Castle each as a day trip from Kyoto. Himeji would have been magnificent I believe, had it not been closed for restoration (for the next five years). So we saw the Japanese countryside and got a steeply discounted tour of the grounds with our own English-speaking guide.

Hiroshima was a powerful experience for both Perin and I. Neither of could ever say that we were pro-nuclear weapons, but after seeing the complete devastation and the after-effects of the atomic bomb, there is definitely no need for those weapons on Earth.

Mostly in Osaka, Perin and I slept in, partook in culinary delights, took naps, and then went out to dinner. Osaka is known for its takoyaki (fried dough balls filled with octopus and cream sauce) however, they are an acquired taste that neither of us has acquired yet.

The most exciting moment was going out for sushi and ordering fugu. Fugu is a Japanese delicacy and is deadly if prepared incorrectly. We're still alive so it was a positive experience. As badass as we are though, we pussed out and got neither the horse meat nor any whale meat.

In the end though, we passed on Japanese food twice to eat Mexican food at El Torrito. Not the best ever, but super delicious and craving-satisfying. Plus we met a very nice waitress working on her English to become an English teacher and she was a lot of fun to talk to.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Japan Update

More information for the fashion concious among you, the look right now among females is to glue on giant fake lashes. But the hottest of the hot also wear giant eye glasses with no lenses. That's because your giant lashes would rub the lenses. I seem to see even more girls sporting that look in Osaka than anywhere else we've been.

Japanese cities would also seem to have "bring your disabled to the city center" weekends. During the weekends on the trains and walking around everywhere, there are far more old people bent 90 degrees, prosthetic limbs, wheelchairs, retarded people, and albinos (okay, albinos aren't disabled, but I saw one and it was the weekend).

Travel advice for anyone coming to Japan is to wear slip-on shoes. Every temple, shrine, or Imperial site requires you to take off your shoes, don slippers, and shuffle around everywhere. Often one complex will have several sites where you have to take off and put your shoes back on numerous times. Tying your laces up again over and over is a fool's (Western person's) task.

We finished Kyoto and have moved on to Osaka. Since the last update, we've visited somewhere between 12 and 6,000 temples, shrines, and Imperial sites. They blur together a little bit, but the history of the Buddhist and Shinto beliefs along with the philosophical developments of Zen sects over time have been more interesting than I thought they would be.

I was super excited to come to Japan (that's right former Gen-i colleagues: super excited) for all the ninja and samurai all over the place. I knew about the history of European peasants and it was a miserable and bleak existence for all of them. Pretty much my entire exposure to the lives of Japanese peasants was James Clavell's Shogun and that portrayed peasants as pretty much accepting, embracing, and enjoying thier position in society.

Anyway, to support a few samuraii and a very few(!) ninja, the numerous peasants of Japan had quite terrible lives. They worked hard all year to give all their rice to the samuraii (and just like all peasants, were near starving) who gave it all to the Shogun who fed his armies with. Because Japan had numerous internal conflicts and everything was made out of wood, everything burned to the ground (from accidental fire, predominately war, lightning, etc.) numerous times and each time was rebuilt as it was before according to exacting specifications. So one generally does not see the original of any of the buildings.

Even today, the gardeners of the Imperial sites must pick up each pine needle from the ground one by one, just like they did traditionally. Seems like a huge waste of man power to me. And speaking of wasted people power, I've never been anywhere that had so many traffic directors. Every single contruction site, parking lot, pedestrain crossing site has one or usually two guys, and sometime up to six, stading around directing traffic.

I suppose it works really well in places where there are tons of pedestrains and cyclists and they all have head phones on. Somebody has to pay attention to the traffic. Yesterday it snowed really hard on us and I was most impressed by a guy riding a bicycle, with an umbrella pinched between cheek and shoulder, wearing a surgical mask (down around his neck) with a cigarette in the corner of his mouth, with headphones connected to his mobile phone who was texting while he rode. That guy was the definiton of multitasker.

You can look at the pictures for information on all the Kyoto sites in the next post. I'm working on it now. I swear.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Godzilla Defeated by Team America

Perin and I are ever vigilant for another uprising from Godzilla, but I think he knows when he's met his match (yes, Godzilla is a he).

We had a great day of people watching in Harajuku. We saw some teenage goths all dressed up, a dog wearing sunglasses being carried around, the entire Miami Dolphins cheerleading team (no, they wouldn't all pose for a photo with me), and all kinds of people and craziness. I know it's already winter in North America, but the winter fashion rage here is puffy jackets made out of a shiny synthetic material. Only one color is appropriate though: black. Pictures are difficult to upload with the technology we brought with us, so they'll have to wait until we find an Internet cafe. Sorry!

From there we powered through the Meiji Shrine and wandered down to Shibuya and had an excellent bento box lunch. In general, the food is much healthier here, but every morsel contains copious amounts of sodium (making it taste even better). Another successful day on Tokyo's public transportation left us feeling pleased and we celebrated with a dinner from 7-11. We got noddle bowls and we discovered that 7-11 brand Demon sake was not as fantastical good as it claimed to be.

Yesterday, we got up at 4:30am to take a taxi to the fish market so we could watch the giant tuna auction. It was pretty exciting and I'm glad we went, but not understanding anything made it difficult to know whether or not they sold for $40,000 or $500,000. We had super cheap, fresh, and delicious sushi for breakfast at 7am then wandered all over Tokyo.

After spending time looking for wooden buildings from the Edo period, we took the subway into the busiest station in Tokyo and poured out with the rest of the sararimen. Took some pictures, went back to the hotel for a 3-hour power nap, then walked to Asakusa (including the plastic food displays part of town), took a ferry downriver and saw Ginza (we missed the Kabuki showing we thought about attending).

Today we took a highspeed train to Kyoto and I got car sick from everything moving by too fast! Perin did fine though. We got here (insignificant drama) just in time for our tour of the Imperial Palace and we had to get something to eat very quicly. There was only one place that could turn around a meal that fast: mick-a-dick-a-roo (McDonalds). We did make it almost 72 hours in Japan before eating it...

The palace was great, as was Nijo Castle. The castle had floors designed to squeak so no assassins could sneak up on the Shogun (or anyone) and kill them. Hundreds of years later, they still work, which was pretty impressive. Shoes weren't allowed and we put on slippers to walk through the castle.

A big pet peeve of mine is stereotypical Asian shuffling. It so loud and annoying, I always want to tell people to lift their damn feet. Well today, I was forced to become one of the shufflers I so despise. They didn't really have any slippers in my size and they didn't stay on your feet very well and the only way to keep them on was to noisily shuffle everywhere. Maybe everyone is conditioned to walk around like that from a young age?

Tomorrow should be a more relaxing day of temples, naps, and snacks. Mmmm. Naps.

Japan Day 1

We stayed at our friends Andy's and Nicole's house in Auckland before our flight to Japan. Andy agreed to give us a ride to the airport first thing in the morning, and he did an excellent job of waking us up (we both fell back asleep after the alarm went off). Missing the first leg of our journey would have been terrible! Thanks Andy!

The flight itself was great. Especially for a 10-hour flight. The seats were a 3-3-3 layout and we were in a middle 3 with an empty seat between us so we could stretch out. I also think Air New Zealand had extra legroom on all the economy seats too which was incredible. I got the Japanese meal choices and Perin selected the western meals. Both were satisfactory, but mine came with this super delicious noodles side dish which got me all pumped up for "good" noodles.

We landed, cleared Customs, and went straight to the railways to ride into Tokyo. We had a little confusion, but everyone we asked was very friendly and helpful. We had to switch trains/subways twice, got to our stop and another nice lady showed us that our hotel was a 2 block walk away.

Our room is quite small, but it's not one of those capsule hotels where everyone sleeps in an MRI tube. We have a little airplane bathroom with a shower you operate from the sink faucets, and an awesome Japanese toilet with all kinds of buttons, noises and nozzles. We got little kimonos and slippers too so that's very nice.

After our first positive public transport experience, we dropped off our stuff and went staight to Shinjuku for a night out on the town. All kinds of bright lights and flashy and shiny stuff (like Times Square) and little alleyways filled with little bars and restaurants which each had a 7-person max capacity.

We found a great yakatori bar down a tight little alley which didn’t have English nor picture menus. We went all in and got one of each chicken skewer.  My favorite had a garlic/lime/chile/tamarind kind of sauce and Perin's favorite was the teriyaki sauce.

From there we wandered over to the red light district and saw the very fashionable yakuza guys standing around (black clothes and stylish pompadours) along with all the "menus" of girls waiting inside for us. It was much nicer than I would have pictured. Great people watching!

We trained back to our hotel, took showers, tried on kimonos, climbed into bed and were delightfully surprosed by our pillows filled with what we presume to be rice. So awesome! Perin and I each want one back in the States.

Today we're off to Harajuku for more people watching and then to wander around Shibuya. Tomorrow we go to the fish auction at 4:30am!

Departing Thoughts

Leaving New Zealand is sad and exciting at the same time. We have a really great group of friends, an amzing house, work is going very well for both of us, and the summer weather has been spectacular. As they say, "you can't beat Wellington on a great day."

As hard as it is to leave, our upcoming adventure will be spectacular. Our first port of call is Tokyo, Japan - The first of 15 countries and numerous cities, meeting friends and family along the say, before landing in NYC in June. We'll be based in New Jersey with Perin's mom (and her swim pool) for about a month, going to Perin's sister's wedding in Boston, touring a bit of the northeast, seeing the City, and hanging out down the shore (I'm hoping the opportunity to punch Snooki in the face present itself.)

From there, we'll go to my cousin's wedding in Washington (state) before heading back to NJ to begin a several-weeks-long road trip down the east coast, across the south, and back to Colorado onto my parents' couch sometime in September. I have a lot of factory tours and BBQ sampling penciled in.

Let me tell you how this works people: no organization interviews people 7 months before they're going to be making a decision about whether or not to take a role. Plus, who'd want to work for the kind of company that did? Much planning has gone into the trip, but it's pretty nebulous after we hit that couch... We'll eventually get jobs I'm sure.

I think I'll miss the pople the most. Our friends welcomed us into their homes and lives and so many of them really embraced us, that it will be incredibly difficult to say goodbye. I think between the two of us, Perin and I had four or five leaving parties and still didn't get to see veryone we would have liked to.

My departing thoughts must include body builders here in NZ. Only recently have I started noticing "American" body builders around town, although I suppose some/all of them could be tourists. I define these as guys with huge developed upper bodies and skinny little legs. As rugby is the sport of choice here, you need huge thigh muscles. Nobody here would spend hours at the gym to look like they couldn't play rugby. A fit man looks like a fit rugby player here. And having become so used to that, huge dudes with toothpick legs look even more ridiculous.

Thanks for everything New Zealand! We'll miss you incredibly and promise to come back!