In Consideration of Others

It's birthday season at the Casa de Wehde. Before Perin's birthday we picked up some giant crayfish (lobster-sized) and she picked out some cheese too. In general, Perin doesn't like cheese, but the Port Nicholson we got was mild and she liked it. The crayfish were delicious and we had a great dinner at home.

Perin woke up on her birthday to me making breakfast. But she was in the mood for a bite of cheese that no longer existing in our home. I ate the last bite earlier that morning. It just so happens that I come from a long lineage of competitive eaters, where left-overs are as rare as rocking horse crap, and all food is subject to survival of the least delicious.

Perin was furious (for a few minutes). Finally, a cheese she actually liked. And it was gone. I hadn't even thought about that, her, or her feelings as I popped in into my mouth and savored its deliciousness.

Fast forward to two days ago. It came to my attention that it was Bloomsday where everyone who doesn't drink a Guinness is subject to a leprechaun ripping off their head and defecating down their throat - while they sleep. This concerned me greatly and I discussed this at length with Perin over lunch.

At 4:50pm Perin sent me a text stating that she's grabbing a drink with some people at the Black Harp - the best Irish pub in town. I drop everything and head directly over. Obviously, Perin heard my concerns at lunch and arranged a quick Guinness before heading home, to prevent the cruel and brutal treatment at the hands of leprechauns.

Six minutes later, I run into Perin standing outside the pub. She and all of her colleagues were done with thier Guinnesses and she wanted me to accompany her on a walk back to her workplace to collect her computer and notebook and then drive home. To suffer the wrath of the leprechauns... how inconsiderate!

I tell her this is unacceptable and dispatch her to collect her things on her own while I consume a preventative Guinness. It was a good thing too because we both woke up with heads attached, throat-defecation-free.

And so, who was less considerate? He who ate a bite of cheese, or she who participated in an hour-long discussion of the importance on Guinness consumption on Bloomsday, then invited him to join her group of Guinness consumers, and then told him that they were done and he should skip his Guinness and join her collecting her things from her workplace?

Tangential to this story, others who worked with me were recently (and for a long time) mislead. My manager was informed by a large vendor of ours that one of my colleagues was no longer allowed to represent them. He could perform no service directly for them, as a consultant, nor as an independent contractor. My manager was informed of this with no explanation as to why this decision was made.

After some inquiry and analysis, my manager was able to discover that this co-worker of mine had filed for bankruptcy, changed his name, and had been charged with felony fraud but had only been convicted of forgery. Due to fraudulent activities at numerous companies before ours, the police were looking for him, and they had border stops out. But the co-worker had been in and out of the country multiple times (for work that was completed to the end-customer's satisfaction).

He had stolen laptops from work and resold them, claimed expenses that did not incur, and as part of his successful history of womanizing, was sleeping with an HR executive from the company. When the police became involved, the executives of the company were informed they couldn't tell the HR lady because she might tip him off. The delicious irony of not being able to tell the HR executive anything!

Regardless, my old colleague has gone into hiding and the police have yet to find him. His fraudulent ways do not take the considerations of others into account. And so, this is by far the most scandalous event that I've been personally involved with in New Zealand.

And all of this reminds me a visit to the veterinarian in San Francisco when Perin's cat Cleo was sick. Cleo didn't like going to the vet and was uncomfortable and scared. When the vet picked Cleo up, Cleo meowed and unleashed a huge poop - which fell straight into the vet's white lab coat pocket. Perin and I couldn't stop laughing! And in considering the vet's displeasure, that made it even more hilarious.

And so dear readers, always consider the feelings and emotions of others. Especially if it's hilarious.