A cold wind bloweth

I've regaled you in the past with epic tales of the television opulence we wallow in here. But there is a new development: Digital video recorders have been introduced! For $100 plus another $20/mo. we can utilize this spectacular technology. That's for the cable company version. TiVo costs more. And they did just become available last week. You can read about a criminal getting caught trying to steal one from an early adopter here.

There isn't really anything I would record, but

I suppose I could have saved the Broncos game to

watch at a more convenient time. Because the Broncos played MNF yesterday, I got to see the game here (we only get the SNF and MNF games). It comes on live at noon, but they show a replay that starts at 10pm. So last night, I stayed up to watch. I didn't talk to anyone about the game, didn't read about it on the Internet, didn't look at any Facebook or Twitter updates. I was going to get to watch a real Broncos game! And what crushing disappointment for me. Good first half, but I could barely keep my eyes open when the fourth quarter rolled around at 1am. With the loss, no sleep, and freezing winds blowing up off Antarctica causing vicious cold and rain/sleet today, I am not pleased.

There isn't too much Christmas stuff in the stores here yet. Because the holiday falls in the middle of summer here, and everyone takes time off work to go away, I just don't think the decorations are quite as big of a deal. Many Kiwis get the whole family together, hire some caravans (rent campers) and park them on the beach for three weeks. Most caravans don't have room for many decorations.

Perin and I are heading to Sydney this weekend to meet my friend Greg. He's giving a seminar at some university in Canberra and then meeting us in Sydney.

I've never been to Canberra, but allow me to talk some smack about it. Melbourne and Sydney were fighting over which city should be the capital when they decided to found a new city halfway and make that the capital. It's in the middle of nowhere and there's nothing to do there. Or so I've been informed by numerous Kiwis and Aussies.

When we moved to NZ, we looked at the map and thought about how close Australia and New Zealand are, and pictured ourselves flying over for long weekends all the time. However, it's a 3.5 hour flight and good deals start around $500 per person. So we require motivation to make plans to go. Greg coming through means we're going to see Sydney. We're both pretty excited to check it out. Perin is also very excited about shopping opportunities that may present themselves.

Una actualización general

Again, it's been over a month since we updated the blog, so I thought I'd catch you all up.

Things are going well here. However, Perin and I are just about done with the rain here. Although we're heading into spring (I know, crazy hemispheres) it rains like nothing either of us have ever lived through before. No charge for drinking water though.

In my rafting course, we got all of our drinking water from waterfalls and drank straight from most of the rivers which was really weird for me. I know that it used to be like that for most fresh water around the world, but humans and livestock introduce a lot of bacteria and that changes everything.

It's still weird to me that there are more people in the Denver metro area (7M) than this whole country (4M). I recently learned that because NZ and Australia have close relations and similar world views there were plans for several years to join the two countries into one. But then they would have lost a vote in the UN, so they decided to stay separate...

Halloween is kind of a new holiday here. It is seen as American cultural imperialism by many of the older Kiwis, although the kids love it. People who have kids are like, "I have to buy a costume for my kid? And then buy candy for the kid and all the kids coming over to my house? And then have them all hyped-up on sugar for the rest of the night? Sounds like a waste of my money and a terrible night. Damn Americans and their damn holidays!"

Work is going well, but they want me to go to work every day. And work the whole day. It's BS! Mostly they want me to do project management and that's the worst job ever. A business wants to do a project. So they hire a project manager. But the project manager has no carrots and no sticks. The PM has to ask workers who have other jobs and tasks they're rated upon to do extra stuff. But the PM has no power to reward people for doing what the PM wants them to do, and no power to punish them for not doing anything.

The only people I've ever met who truly enjoy being project manager are small, vindictive people. They relish politically backstabbing anyone who doesn't do what they want them to do. Regardless, I'm working to have no one assign me any PM work after this project is done at the end of the month:)

Last week was pretty stressful, and since Halloween isn't too big a deal here, I had a beer and went to bed early. Plus I had three soccer games on Sunday so I didn't party too hard. I had two outdoor games, then came home and took a nap, then went and played an indoor game. Good exercise, but I'm sore all over today. And because last week was so stressful (I had to work through the night one night), I got Monday off. I had big plans to drop Perin off at work, finish my timesheets for work, go to the gym, stop by the library, do some grocery shopping, make lunches for the rest of the week, and do the dishes all before noon so I could lay back and watch NFL all day.

But guess what? No football because the Yankees and Phillies were playing. So I didn't do anything on my list. I walked into town to buy some beers then came home and took a three-hour nap. Speaking of naps, when I was sleeping between my soccer games, I told Perin to wake me up and I was like "C'mere. Give me a kiss," and she's like, "Well... okay. But only on the forehead, because that huge patch of drool down the side of your face makes it hard to kiss you on the lips."

Perin is doing well. She's got it all figured out by assigning all work to underlings (of which she has many). Sometimes it takes a lot of work to get a subordinate to do things she wants them to do, and she knows it would be faster and easier to do everything herself. But Perin is wise and understands that if she can train them to do what she wants how she wants, she can get out of lots of work. She's a real genius!

I'm taking an improv comedy class on Monday nights (like the TV show Who's Line is it Anyway) which is a lot of fun. I have a performance December 5th, and then after that there is a possibility I could join the Wellington Improvisation Troupe (yes, with all those weird British spellings) on Wednesday nights next year. I enjoy doing it because there is no real preparation ahead of time. We spend a lot of time learning about how stories are told. There needs to be a platform for the story to begin (which is very important), then some conflict, and then some resolution.

It's hard to keep that in mind without a script or plan. So the art of improv is working with other people without a plan to tell a story. And what makes everyone laugh is during failure. So embracing failure is another skill that we work on. Embacing failure and not hesitating are the two biggest skills we work on. In case you were wondering, I'm the best in the class:) And the most modest:)

Perin is back in a sewing class this session. She's working on a dress to wear to Hawaii this holiday season. Although not the most experienced seamstress, I think she enjoys being more experienced than most of her classmates and sharing her knowledge with them. She's had this tutor before (they're not called teachers here) and she really likes this one.

We've both been playing heaps of soccer. I'm on four indoor soccer teams, and just joined and outdoor team. Perin's been playing on two teams and started seeing a personal trainer at the gym. I think I might get a personal trainer too.

We both decided that when we're super rich and retired that we'll start every day off with a personal yoga instructor, then a personal trainer at the gym, and then have a flotation tank. Perin and I tried using sensory deprivation tanks (now called a flotation tanks) in San Francisco and they were really cool.

Although popularized by hippies, it's basically a bathtub in the dark with much epsom salt diluted in the water. All the espom salt increased the water's density which means you float easily. The water is warm, there is no light, and it's sound proof. Most people don't realize how much brain power they spend just to keep themselves upright in a chair or listening to ambient sounds. So by freeing your brain from "having" to do anything or process any information, it can do whatever it wants. Without any drugs, chemicals, or other stimulus the brain goes straight to relaxation and healing.

Anyway, whether or not you believe in anything like that, Perin and I are working and investing. With the US dollar sinking, our NZ dollars are becoming more valuable and we've been doing some dollar-cost-averaging transitioning of our savings back to US dollars. We're saving for a house down payment, our retirement, and a baby (or babies).

Oooooohhhhhh! Babies!!!!! I don't really have any more details for you right now. Babies are for later, but we're planning for them. The tentative plan is to quit our jobs when our work visas expire, see some more of NZ, then take a world trip back to the States over a couple a months, then come back and have some babies. Oooooooh! Babies!!!!

How to do business in NZ

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker last week about my perceived differences between the working culture of the United States and that of New Zealand.

When I first began working, I had a definite preference for working with British expats (they're heaps of them here) because (like Americans) they say what they mean. In general, Kiwis are less explicit in their interpersonal interactions, so you never really know what they want or need.

Part of this comes from (I believe) NZ being a small country with a small population. It is not wise to make enemies or piss anyone off as you will have to work with them again. Harmony is valued and confrontation is not.

An example of this is that one of Perin's development goals is to be less confrontational when playing devil's advocate during meetings with clients. What is seen as a normal business practice in the States makes clients uncomfortable here.

Spending my life as a loud American and doing business with other loud Americans has left me with the expectation of being able to hear everyone speak in meetings and during presentations. Rather frequently during meetings, I will be sitting near a Kiwi speaker but won't be able to hear them. My natural inclination is to ask them to speak up, but then my hearings not that bad and I know no one else that's sitting farther away than me can hear them either. So I sit back and observe. What's going on here? Why isn't anyone else asking the speaker to talk louder?

I believe that there is a definite Asian influence for saving face. No one wants the speaker to lose face by asking them to speak up. Everything is subtle. No one tells anyone else what to do explicitly. They suggest and imply. Quietly.

And there is no feedback. If you're doing well, you won't hear about it. And if you're doing poorly, you won't hear about it. However, if you are doing poorly, people will talk about you behind your back.

The whole conversation came up again at the end of last week when I sent an email to the executives of my company praising the hard-work and selfless dedication of one of my co-workers on a big project we just finished. The co-worker wrote back saying thank you, it was a "very, very American email," and that the Kiwi executives won't know how to handle it.

Now five days later, I have still received no word from on-high about my electronic praise (although I will admit that I've been out of town on training). At the absolute minimum, I hope to get together with the bosses soon and [quietly] talk smack about some of our crappier employees behind their backs.

Fruity tea-baggers

As the summer approaches, Perin and I are trying to eat a little healthier and that means starting every day off with some fruit instead of some butter. Apparently, kiwi fruits are in-season all year round and priced accordingly. Most other fruit has to be imported and is more expensive (with the exception of bananas: they're always cheap).

Today is also day one of Perin and I giving up drinking Coca-Cola. We're trying to drink tea in the morning instead. Long association with the British empire has imparted a love of tea to this nation. Though not bad, it just isn't the same. We'll see who can hold out the longest.

Along with the affection for tea, there is a general - though not pervasive - loathing of Coke here. We have both receive numerous lectures on detriments of cola to the body, mind, and soul of the individual and to cola's contributions to the downfall of society. Mostly it's the artificial colors and flavors that do it. The one saving grace of Coke here, is that it is sweetened with pure cane sugar and not high fructose corn syrup.

NZ Wife Beaters

In the United States, white sleeveless undershirts are sometimes known as "wife-beaters." Spend some time with Google if you have no idea what I'm talking about. However, in New Zealand, wife beaters are black. And they're called singlets. Why? Because of a movie _Once Were Warriors_ (which is a really good movie - go watch it). Here's a clip from the film featuring the black singlet and the vicious beating of a wife:




Also, I have learned about POMs. This is the not-very-derogatory-anymore term for British people. It stands for "prisoner of (his/her) majesty" or "prisoner of mother England" in regards to the criminals sent to Australia when Oz was a penal colony. Wikipedia states a different etymology, but you know those POMs are a crafty bunch and wouldn't have any qualms about changing the entry.

Regardless, the point of bringing up POMs is that Stella Artois is known as "wife beater" back in the British Isles. Instead of the uppity image Stella has in the States, it is seen as a the drink of choice for spousal abuse across the Atlantic. I find this fascinating study in international branding.

Sales Training

In the different professional roles I've had over the years, I've had the opportunity to work with many sales people. Having worked with quite a few of them now, I've learned a little about how one achieves success in the world of sales and try to share that knowledge with new sales people when we work together.

Interestingly, none of the sales people at my company here in New Zealand have seen the greatest sales speech ever captured on celluloid. So I shared with them the following video clip:

Now when I say, "Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee's for closers only." they laugh instead of looking at me strangely.

P&P Update

It's been over a month since we last updated the blog! So after typing up an email, I decided to replicate it here on the blog for everyone to read.

Things are going pretty well here. I got a job doing computer nerd stuff which is pretty good most days. I was doing a 3-month contract and it was kind of boring, and then I got a full-time offer. The day after I signed, they gave me nine things to do and I had to stay up til 2am for many nights getting it all done. Bastards! But now it's normal work busy-ness.

Perin's work is going pretty well. She's got an army of underlings to delegate the crappiest work to which is great. She's got two main clients right now so everyone is jockeying for her to help them more. Shows she's valuable even if management regularly changes her meeting calendar (or diary as it is called here).

We're both playing a lot of soccer. I play on a couple indoor teams and Perin plays on one indoor and one outdoor team (but the outdoor season just ended). This summer (I know the southern hemisphere seasons thing is weird) we're both going to try to play 5-a-side outdoor soccer in addition to the indoor soccer. Not to brag too much, but I'm one of the best players in NZ. Even though I do score a lot of goals, everyone wants me on their team as an "Enforcer," which makes me laugh. I play pretty physically (not dirty) but I'm friends with all the referees now (one even has a man-crush on me) so I get "favorable" calls more often than not.

Perin took some sewing classes, but is sitting this term out. She starts again next month. I'm taking an improv comedy class which is pretty fun. I have my first performance this Saturday, which is exciting. Perin is going to miss part of it because she has a one-time baking class she signed up for before we knew about the performance.

Going to work, soccer, the classes, and gym keeps us pretty busy (we also signed up for a boxing fitness class). We're working on our Kiwi accents. Perin makes fun of me because I can only do a "provincial" accent which means I sound like a farmer. But I think it's the same as when other people try an American accent - they can only do a southern accent.